god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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