My liver just broke up with me...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
