There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
