i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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