yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize