Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
