:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
