Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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