yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
