Already got asked if we're dating
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
