I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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