It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
