Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
