he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
