I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
