don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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