You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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