you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
