i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
