I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
