My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
