My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
