Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
