woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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