Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
