I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
