yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
