Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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