i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
