Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
