You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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