I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize