Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
