that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
