me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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