he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize