Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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