New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
