And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
