your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
