I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
