I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
