Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
