I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
