I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
