I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize