I love black thongs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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