So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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