when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
