were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
