we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think weed is turning my hair brown
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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