just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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