How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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