So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
