dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
