The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
