Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
