i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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