Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
