i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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