My boss' voice literally gives me gas
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Alive.
So much puke
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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