i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
NoShamevember. You game?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
