NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i drank out of a bidet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
