I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Apparently you make a good broom.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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