Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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