she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
