If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
