so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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